I roll my eyes, listening to Kate talk to my mother. They are going over some things about upcoming events at our church. A church I'm not even sure I want to be a part of anymore. Shaking my head, I stand from the table hoping neither woman will notice my absence from the room. It seems once they get to talking that is all they think about.
Going outside, I sit on the porch and take out the cartoon of cigarettes in my pocket. It's a habit I have taken up since our trip to Jamaica. Kate hates but it helps with my nerves and at least it's not pot. I smoked that for a whole year after our tour in 2008 and that caused too many arguments with her.
Putting the cigarette in my mouth, I find my lighter and soon light up, watching as the smoke I blow out goes up towards the sky. It's been a month since Kate and I had sex. A freaking month and I'm starting to feel horrible. I try but she always turns me down. I'm starting to feel as if I just don't do it for her anymore.
"Mind if I have a smoke too," a voice speaks up from beside me and I turn to see Natalie as she picks up the cartoon of cigarettes and lighter that I left laying beside me.
I shake my head, "No," I tell her as I take another puff from my cigarette. "Get tired of listening to mom and Kate talk about church shit too?" I ask laughing softly as I watch her light the cigarette up. I have never seen her smoke before but she does it like a pro.
Natalie laughs and nods. "No offense, but I really just hate Kate's holier than thou attitude she adopted since becoming a Christian," she says in between drags off her cigarette.
"No offense taken," I shrug knowing Natalie has a point about Kate. "I'm surprised you aren't at home with Taylor or the kids."
At my words, Natalie rolls her eyes, "Taylor isn't even home with the kids," she sighs as she takes another drag off the cigarette. "My mom is watching the children and he is off doing god knows what, or should I say who."
Feeling my eyes widen at her words I am shocked at what she has revealed. "Taylor is cheating on you?" I ask wanting to make sure I heard her right.
Natalie nods, "He has been cheating on me our whole marriage, you know he has before. He claims he'll stop but he never does. Hell wasn't it you who walked in on him and Carrick in the bathroom that one time?"
"Don't remind me of that," I shudder as I think about the images still engrained in my brain of my brother bent over a bathroom sink while Carrick fucked him. "Who is he cheating with this time?" "Nikki Reed," Natalie mutters her name with such venom that it shocks me. I soon get images in my head of Natalie murdering her. "Apparently it started after ya'll filmed the music video. Her husband has no clue but I'm tempted to tell him."
"Taylor may not like it too well if you tell him," I shrug knowing it would piss him off and he is known to have a temper. "But at least Taylor is getting laid."
I feel Natalie death glare me, "Yes and when he fucks around on me I stop getting laid," she snaps and I jump slightly, throwing my finished cigarette on the porch and stomping it out.
"Sorry," I squeak out as I chew on my lip. Damn foot in mouth syndrome. "Kate isn't even cheating on me and we haven't had sex since January....February is almost over and my dick is really getting tired of all this self-love I am giving it."
Natalie laughs and throws her cigarette down, stomping it out too. "You could try sucking it yourself," she teases and looks at me as if she has more to say. "I'm not sure what is going on with Kate. She doesn't tell me much anymore. She has sort of shut down and it's weird."
"At least it's not just me she has shut down on then," I frown not even sure what is going on with my wife anymore or our marriage. Heck we may have had rough times but this is just strange and weird. "You know...since we both aren't getting any maybe we could change that?" I muse as I look Natalie over.
Natalie raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean Zachary?" she asks using my full name. I usually hate it when people do that but with her I won't complain at all.
I run a hand through my hair as I think of a way to answer her. "I mean, we could, we could have an affair. Just a friends with benefits type thing, no feelings attached," I tell her not even believing I am saying these words. I have never once thought of cheating on Kate. I love my wife after all.
Natalie goes silent as she contemplates what I am saying. I know she'll turn me down. I mean Taylor may be cheating on her but she'd never dare cheat on him. She is a good wife.
"O..okay," Natalie nods surprising me.
"Really?" I ask her right as she stands up and heads towards the front door.
"Really Zac, you know my number. Text me and we'll set something up sometime." _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Waking from my dream, I feel beside me just to grasp empty sheets, which cause my eyes to open. Natalie is gone. I should have known she would leave and not be here when I woke up. Taylor might have gotten suspicious of her lie if she didn't get home early.
Getting off the bed, I walk to the dresser where I see a piece of paper. Natalie's written a short note thanking me for last night and leaving me a twenty to go buy myself some breakfast. I can't help but feel as if she is really just paying me for our sex last night.
"I feel like a dirty hooker," I muse to myself before walking to the bathroom and flipping the light on. Going to the shower, I turn it on and once it is to my liking I step in and shower quickly. I'm not about to be out any longer than I have too. I am afraid of the fall out if I am because then Kate will surely know I didn't spend the night at the studio.
Stepping out of the shower, I wrap the towel around my waist and head to the room where I have a bag with extra clothes lying. It was really damn hard to get that bag past Kate but I did. Bending down at the bag I get my clothes out and drop the towel, getting dressed into a clean pair of boxer briefs and a pair of faded blue jeans.
Finding the red shirt I had packed, I slip it on and then put my dirty clothes into the bag. Slipping the bag over my shoulder, I grab the twenty and take the note, trashing it on my way out the door. Heading to my car, I throw the bag in and pocket the twenty as I get in my car.
I drive off, deciding to go through Taco Bueno and get breakfast. I really could eat Taco Bueno at any time of the day.
Ordering my breakfast, I drive home and park my car in the drive way. Getting out, I hold the bag in my hand as I walk to the door. I'm about to unlock it but before I can even get the key in the door it is flung open by Kate.
"Kate," I squeak out as my eyes widen. She looks pissed and I'm almost afraid that Natalie has called and told her everything.
"Zac," Kate says her tone flat. "Get inside," she tells me moving aside so I can.
I nod and obey her, stepping inside, jumping as she slams the door once I am inside.
"I know you weren't at the studio, at least not all night," Kate informs me as she brushes past me and blocks me from going any farther in the house. Can't she see I have food in my hand and I want to eat it? "I called this morning to check on you and Isaac answered. He informed me that you weren't there."
Damn Isaac, Damn him all to hell. "I decided to get a hotel room," I lie pushing my way past Kate and going into the kitchen. Sitting at a stool at the counter, I open the Taco Bueno bag and get out the two breakfast burritos I had ordered.
Kate follows behind me, "And you couldn't have called to tell me?" she asks as she stands beside me. I can see from the corner of my eye that her arms are crossed. It's never a good sign when a woman crosses their arms. It means you are usually about to get ripped a new one.
"I wasn't thinking," I mutter as I bit into one of my burritos. Waiting until I swallow, I answer her again. "Can you forgive me Katie?" I ask as I turn to face her and give her the smile she always loves.
I watch as she sighs and uncrosses her arms. That's a step in the right direction.
"If you ever do it again I am going to make you stay in a hotel for a month," she sighs again and leans in to kiss my cheek. "You better eat those fast before the kids come down and start whining," she laughs as she turns to leave the kitchen. "And they are about to make me barf," she mutters and soon I hear the bathroom door shut.
I just smirk and continue eating. So far Kate can't read through my lies and that is good. I really hope it stays that way. I don't want her knowing that I am cheating, that I plan to continue this no strings affair with Natalie.