Several months have passed since I started this affair with Bethany. In those months I have continued to grow farther away from Kate who actually seems saddened by it which shocks me.
I have also drawn away from Natalie. She has went back to Taylor and I really think it's best that I let their marriage work out, not falling victim to the train wreck my life would bring it. Though distancing myself from Taylor has been harder especially since we have been back on the road.
Today though we aren't on the road, we are in Tulsa and it seems the baby has decided to come earlier than it should have. Kate wasn't due for at least another week.
"Zac," Kate's voice says bringing me out of my thoughts. I turn to look at her, seeing her making a face as she holds her stomach. She is the only woman I know who makes giving birth look like a piece of cake.
"Yeah?" I ask her as I move closer to the bed. This pregnancy has been hard for me, especially ever since I found out Taylor could have been the father. Even after knowing I was I just have not been the happiest though I do have to say I love this baby already, I'm just not happy about it.
Kate reaches for my hand, giving it a squeeze, "I just want to know that you are here," she smiles softly. The smile almost reminds me of the woman I fell in love with and married. Sadly though I think she is gone.
I squeeze her hand back, "I'm here Katie," I assure her as we lock eyes.
Kate nods sadly but doesn't say anything else because her doctor chooses then to come in. I stay by her side as I watch him cheek her to see how ready she is.
"Well Mrs. Hanson," the doctor states as he looks up at Kate. "It would seem that in a matter of minutes you can start pushing. I just need to get everything ready for you," he smiles at her so sweet. He probably thinks she is a perfect little angel when she isn't.
After he leaves the room I look at Kate, "I need to go tell everyone," I sigh as I let go of her hand. "Especially Isaac and Taylor."
Kate just nods not protesting. I guess she knows me well enough to know I will do it anyway.
Leaving the room I head down to the waiting room where I find my family. Every single one of them, even though it is going on two in the morning. Spotting Natalie asleep with her head on Taylor's shoulder I hate myself for being jealous. I'm not supposed to want her anymore but damn it I miss her.
"How are things?" my mom asks as she looks up at me when she spots me.
I give her a smile, "Kate is about to start pushing," I answer her. "The baby should be here at any minute after that hopefully."
My mom just grins, taking on her cell phone. I am sure she is probably texting her friends telling them the good news. That any minute now her next grandchild will be born.
Isaac stands up, walking over to me, "Taylor and I are going to have to catch that flight to St. Louis soon."
"I know," I nod. I knew they probably would have to leave without me. "I'll catch the next flight whenever I can," I smile before turning away from him. Going back down the hall towards Kate's room.
When I get there I see the doctor is back with a couple of nurses. "Is it time?" I ask Kate on my way to her side again. This time she doesn't even have to take my hand, I grab hers.
"It is time," Kate smiles as she squeezes my hand. "We were all just waiting on you to get back.:
Letting her squeeze my hand I bite my lip but stay silent. In my silence Kate starts pushing, each push bringing more pressure on my hand.
As I watch her push I'm bite my lip harder to keep from crying out as well when she squeezes my hand even harder. I feel like she may have the ability to break it soon. God how I hope the baby gets here before then.
It's at that thought that the room is filled with tiny cries. The moment I hear the cries I feel tears forming in my eyes. That's my baby, my little baby is here.
"It's a boy," the doctor announces loudly as he holds the baby up after cutting the cord.
Smiling at the news that I have another son I turn to look at Kate, "We have a son again Katie. We have a boy."
Kate let's go of my hand but not before I notice the tears in her eyes. They aren't happy tears though like the ones I have. Instead they are sad ones.
"What's the matter Katie?" I ask her as I reach over to wipe a few of her tears away. I hate to see her crying even if she has been a bitch to me for the past few months.
Kate chokes back a sob, shaking her head. "I lied," she says so soft that I'm almost positive I misheard her. She didn't just say she had lied. "I lied to you Zac."
When she repeats her words I know I haven't misheard her. She has indeed just told me she lied. "Lied about what?" I ask under my breath so the doctor and nurses in the room can't hear me. I have a sneaking suspicion about what she means but she can't be that mean can she?
"The baby being yours," Kate frowns as more tears go down her cheek. "I wanted it to be yours but then the results came back saying it was Taylor's. When I told him he said it would just be best if we lied, told you it was yours. Natalie wouldn't ever have to know and neither would you," she sighs, reaching up to wipe her own tears away. "But seeing you so happy about this, about that baby, I can't lie anymore I just feel too guilty."
Swallowing hard I try to take in all of what she has just told me. The baby, that boy that the nurses are cleaning up isn't mine. She has known this all along as has Taylor. That fucking bastard brother of mine. He knew this baby wasn't mine either and yet he was perfectly content to lie to me. To let me raise a child that was his.
Not saying anything else to Kate I move away from her, leaving the room. Not even going down to the waiting room I head to god knows where in the hospital. I just need to be somewhere far away from everyone. Somewhere where no one can find me.
Stopping when I get near the chapel I open the door and go inside. Sitting in the back pew I finally fight the tears I had been holding in since Kate's confession. It doesn't hurt me that Kate lied. What hurt's is Taylor lied too. He lied and fucked with my emotions in the process.
Burying my head in my hands, I let out a strangled loud sob, another soon taking that ones place until the chapel is full of my sobs. How could Taylor think it would be okay for me to raise his child? How could he think it would be okay to let me get attached to a baby that wasn't mine? A fucking innocent baby who never even asked for the lie to begin with.
Feeling a hand on my shoulder, I jump slightly. Raising my head I wipe my eyes and turn to look at whoever has found me in this damn chapel. The moment I see Taylor though I move away from him. "Don't touch me," I tell him through gritted teeth.
Taylor looks at me confused. It's obvious he has no clue why I am upset with him. He doesn't know that Kate has told me the truth.
"Zac, what the fuck is your problem?" Taylor asks as he inches closer to me again, trying to put his hand on my shoulder but I push it away.
I shake my head, "My problem is you," I snap at him watching as he flinches. "You lied to me. You and Kate lied to me."
Taylor's face changes then, the moment I tell him that he and Kate lied to me. He has finally figured out she told me about the baby.
"You were never supposed to know Zac," Taylor sighs running a hand down his face which looks tired and much older than he really is. "I only wanted Kate to lie so you wouldn't be hurt, so Natalie wouldn't be hurt."
Laughing bitterly I glare at him, "Stop acting as if you give a shit about me or Natalie. You don't Taylor. You don't care at all."
"I do care," Taylor tells me his voice cracking. "I love Natalie and I love you. Hell I love you more than my own wife," he yells as he stands from the pew. "I thought the night we made love proved that to you. I only did this to protect you from being hurt," he reasons as if he actually believes the lie wouldn't have hurt me worse.
Staying silent I just watch as he leaves the chapel. I'm angry that he lied and I'm also shocked. Shocked at his admission of loving me more than Natalie. Sadly I can't say the same thing. I don't love Taylor more than Natalie I love her more than him.
"Fuck," I mutter as look up at the ceiling. "I'm no better than he is," I sigh knowing my lies are almost as huge as his. If Kate or Bethany ever decide to tell him about Natalie and I, I am screwed.