The remainder of the tour after the baby's birth goes by fast. Faster than I would have liked. The whole time though things were strained between Taylor and I. I had found ways to avoid him. I guess he too found ways to avoid me as well. It was almost like a dance with how well we pulled off avoiding each other.
But there was one person I couldn't avoid now that I was back home. Kate had made it hard to ignore her since I actually live in the same house as her. If I had started to avoid her like I had been doing to Taylor, I'm sure Shepherd and Junia would notice but again they had probably noticed when I moved out for awhile. What was one more thing for them to notice?
"Zac are you here?" Kate's voice asks me and I sigh realizing I had zoned out on her saying we needed to talk.
I run a hand through my hair, "Sorry," I apologize. "I guess I zoned out," I admit being honest wit her. "What did you want to talk about?"
"What are we are going to do about Abraham now that you know the truth," she says cutting right to the chase. When she calls the baby Abraham I have to blink a few times. I honestly can not believe I let her name the baby. She chose such a clusterfuck of names. George which I am sure comes from the royal baby, I mean how could it not? Abraham again I think it's close enough to be George Alexander that it suits her and then Walker. Honestly the Walker bit confuses me because she knows that baby isn't mine.
Looking down I sigh wishing I had something to say that she was going to like but I don't. "I've thought a lot about that on tour," I confess as I look back up seeing her looking at me eagerly. "I..I'm giving you and Taylor until after Halloween to tell Natalie. If none of you don't I will. I refuse to raise his baby as mine and pretend to be happy with you Kate. In fact I plan on filing for divorce after Halloween as well."
Kate's face changes the moment I mention a divorce, "Zac," she frowns as she shakes her head. "I'm sure we can fix things."
"Kathryn," I raise my voice after using her first name, "there is no fixing us. You lied to me about the baby not to mention you blackmailed me to get me to move in here. I don't even love you anymore Kathryn. What is there to fix when I don't love you?"
Kate goes silent when I ask her that. I think she has realized I have a point that with me not loving her there is nothing to fix. "I still love you...I think," she whispers as tears start to go down her cheek. "Just give me a chance to make you fall back in love with me."
I shake my head no before standing from the couch, "No, I mean hell we are practically strangers," I sigh as I head towards the front door. "I'm going out for awhile," I yell behind me. I am hoping if I go away for awhile that Kate will have a chance to come to terms with what I have told her. I am also hoping it will make her call Taylor and tell Taylor that he has until after Halloween to tell Natalie the truth.
Going inside I get in my truck. After I start it up I drive off towards Bethany needing to see her. There is something I need to tell her as well.
Pulling into Bethany's driveway I park my truck behind her car. Getting out I walk onto the porch where I raise my hand, knocking on her door a few times then looking down at my feet as I wait for her to answer. I'm not sure how she will take this conversation either because much like Kate's it isn't going to be an easy one to have.
When the door opens I raise an eyebrow seeing Taylor standing there shirtless, Bethany coming up behind him with a sheet wrapped around her body. Fuck, Taylor has found another way to ruin my life it seems.
"Zac," Bethany mutters as she walks closer to Taylor. "I..he was helping me fix my sink," she lies which makes me laugh.
"I was helping her," Taylor starts as he eyes me which makes me uncomfortable. If this is again his way of showing me loves me he is doing a fucked up job at it
I nod, "I can see you were helping her Taylor," I spit out backing away from the door. "Does Natalie know you are helping her?" I ask sarcastically as I raise an eyebrow. "Does Natalie even know where you are?"
Taylor steps out on the porch after me telling Bethany to give us some time alone which she does. After she shuts the door Taylor puts his hand on my shoulder which I reach up and brush away. "I still don't want you touching me," I tell him through gritted teeth.
"If I knew you were coming by I wouldn't be here," Taylor answers and for once I think maybe his voice sounds honest but then again how can I be sure? How can I be sure of anything he tells me?
Biting my lip I look down, "I wasn't expecting to come by either," I sigh being honest with him. "But Kate and I had a conversation and I started thinking about Bethany. I have been seeing her for the past few months but you knew that everyone but Kate knew that," I snap feeling a little bitter. "You know I came here to tell her I could finally try a real relationship with her, that I was ready for one with her but that went down the drain the moment I saw you and her in that sheet."
Taylor puts his hand on my arm again but this time I don't move it away. I let it stay there.
"If you love me more than Natalie why do you keep hurting me?" I ask him as my voice breaks. "First with Kate, then the baby lie and now Bethany. Can't you stop hurting people Taylor?"
Looking at him I watch as for once he just stands there, looking as if he is taking my words in. Maybe I am making him see the light.
Taylor moves his hand away running it through his hair, "This thing with Bethany was the first time. Natalie she hasn't been having sex with me since we got back two days ago. I feel like I'm losing her and I just needed someone, someone I knew who was easy and who would let me have a quick fuck."
"Even if it hurt me?" I ask feeling a few tears go down my cheek.
Taylor nods his head yes, "Even if it hurt you," he says looking away from me. "But your not loving me back hurts me as well Zac," he tells me as if that justifies all that he has done to me.
Feeling more tears going down my cheek I reach up, wiping them off quickly. "I never said I didn't love you," I tell him shocking even me. "I do love you as more than I should but not enough to want a relationship with you. Especially when you are like Kate now. You are like a stranger to me, everyone is like a stranger to me," I frown as I walk off the porch.
Going to my truck I get back in and drive off not sure where I am going, I am just going. Maybe I will just leave Tulsa and never come back but I can't do that. There is still one person here who isn't a stranger to me. The person who I have been trying to push away. The person Bethany was doing a semi goodd job of making me forget most days. Natalie is still here and I can't leave her.
When I realize I am heading to Isaac and Nikki's house I roll my eyes not even sure why I am. It's not like I am particularly close with Isaac or Nikki. They both usually do a good job of staying out of the train wrecks of mine and Taylor's life.
Parking my truck I get out but before I can get to his door I see Isaac coming out looking at me confused.
"What are you doing here?" he asks me as he reaches where I am in the middle of his yard. "I wasn't expecting visitors today."
I shrug, "I just needed someone to talk too, someone I haven't slept with."
Isaac raises an eyebrow still confused as to why I chose him, "Why not talk to Taylor?"
I laugh at that question, "I said someone I haven't slept with Isaac," I whisper revealing to Isaac that I have had sex with Taylor as well.
When Isaac backs away from me, I'm almost afraid he will faint but luckily for me he doesn't, he just shakes his head. "Fuck Zac," he says shock apparent in his voice. "Aren't you becoming the little man whore this year."
Blushing at his words I look down, "It's starting to bite me in the ass," I inform him as I walk to his porch, sitting on the stairs. "Big time."
Isaac comes to sit down beside me his gaze staying away from me. I am sure he is judging me and deep down I don't blame him a bit for judging me. I'd judge me too in all honesty.
"That usually happens," he informs me as he finally looks at me. "So, how is it biting you in the ass?"
"Kate lied about the baby being mine," I say as I look back at him. I figure that is as good as place as any to start. "It's really Taylor and it turns out he knew this all along as well. They figured they were keeping me from being hurt. When I confronted Taylor about it he had to go and reveal he loves me more than Natalie," I stop long enough to take a breath and cheek Isaac. He is still blinking so I reckon that means he hasn't had a hear attack and died. "Then today Kate and I had a talk about the baby and our relationship. I'm filing for divorce after Halloween. I went to go tell Bethany that and also tell her that we could try a real relationship if she wanted because I was ready to try but then I found Taylor there, they had just had sex."
Isaac just shakes his head once I finish telling him everything. "Fucking hell Zac, your life sounds like a soap opera," he says rather bluntly though I don't disagree with him. "Do you love Taylor?" he asks me.
"I do but not enough to be with him. Not after all the shit he has pulled, anyway I love Natalie more," I whisper feeling like a shitty person. I'm mad at Taylor when I still have a secret he doesn't know about. That his wife is the one who has my heart.
Isaac nods as if he is making a mental note of that, "And Bethany?"
"I have feelings for her and she was making me forget Natalie but I never loved her," I sigh wondering where Isaac is going with all of this.
"Then maybe you should stop fucking around with other people and fight for the woman you want," Isaac reasons as he stands up. "Or you know keep ruining your life."
Standing up as well I sigh again, "But that would hurt Taylor," I tell him still unsure if I want to hurt Taylor even if he has hurt me. "Anyway Natalie doesn't love me."
"Who gives a fuck about Taylor if he can so willingly hurt you Zac. It's about time you give him a bit of his own medicine. As for Natalie, make her love you."
Going silent after that I watch as Isaac goes inside. He has a point about giving Taylor some of his own medicine. Nodding my head I have come to the decision that I will do that. Taylor has fucked me over three times now. I think it's about time I gave him one big fuck over. Let him know that his affair with Kate lead me to his wife. Lead to me loving his wife.
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