I am not sure how long I waited to leave the apartment after Bethany left. I would have to say it was probably at least two hours as I needed time to calm myself down after her threat of not wanting me near the baby if I wanted to be with Natalie. I was pissed over that threat and was trying to think of ways to get her to change her mind. I knew if I had too I would take her to court.
Getting in my truck, I slam the door and stick my keys into the ignition starting it before driving off. I am heading to the studio a place I haven't been since Taylor left and said he needed a break. I knew Isaac still went every day though, my mom had informed me of that via a nasty voicemail she left after finding out about Natalie and Taylor both leaving. It seemed Kate had clued her in on mine and Natalie's affair though Kate was still keeping the secret of her own affair and Abe's real father.
As I drive by Natalie and Taylor's house though I slow my truck down when I see Natalie's car parked in the drive way. I am tempted to pull in and try to explain about Bethany but I know the way she left that she wouldn't listen to me. She wouldn't hear a word of what I said to her.
Driving past the house I soon make it to the studio where I park my truck, my eyes landing on Taylor's car. I knew Natalie said he was back but I don't think I expected him to be here at the studio at least not yet. Maybe I should have went to his and Natalie's house instead.
I get out of my truck going inside the studio. The walk in seems to go by quicker than it normally does and the moment I am inside I spot Taylor sitting at the front desk where our sister Jessica normally sits. The moment he looks up at me I feel as if I have shrank on the spot, becoming much tinier than I really am.
"Zac," Taylor nods before standing from the chair. "I am glad you came in today, I was actually wanting to speak to you," he tells me his voice seeming much nicer than he was towards me the last time we were together.
"You wanted to speak with me?" I ask confused watching as Taylor grabs my arm, leading me down the hallway until he goes into the bathroom shutting the door behind us. I am almost afraid he might try to seduce me again and that is the last thing I need.
Taylor moves his hand off my arm, "Natalie said she was going to see you," he tells me before running a hand through his har. "I figured she told you about Kate and I."
I nod my head leaning against the sink, "She did tell me that you two wanted to make things work for the baby," I tell him an edge to my voice. "Though that would probably require Kate to stop lying to everyone about the baby being mine still."
"I know it would require that," Taylor shrugs, "I have told her that and she agreed she would, she just needs to find the time and nerve," he smiles as he chews on his lip.
I roll my eyes not even sure if I believe Kate will find the nerve. She cares too much what people at her church think, if they knew she was unfaithful they'd have a cow and her reputation would be tarnished. "W..what brought on the change in you?" I ask knowing that when I last saw him he was professing his love to me and hurt that I couldn't love him back.
"A lot of things," Taylor starts and looks at me though his expression lets me know he is looking for the right words to say. "I had some time to myself to think things through Zac. I realized that maybe I wasn't in love with you, I was just in love with the fact that you made me feel something that my wife couldn't. You made me feel alive which I hadn't feel in a while."
I go silent as I listen to his words, "Natalie makes me feel the same way," I tell him wondering if now maybe I am just in love with the fact that she made me feel things Kate couldn't.
Taylor shakes his head, "But you love her and she loves you," he speaks as if he has more confidence in us now which shocks me. "I have seen it for months in the way you look at her Zac and the way she looks at you. It's love and you two need to just get together already, hell I am sure the other thing Natalie told you will help that along," he says giving me a knowing smirk.
"Other thing?" I ask confused. "You mean the divorce?" I ask knowing that is the only other thing she mentioned though from the confused look on Taylor's face I am sure that isn't what he meant.
"Not the divorce" Taylor denies as he chews on his lip looking as if he is debating on telling me. "Natalie..she's..." he starts but my phone ringing ruins his sentence.
Looking away from him I pull it out seeing Bethany's name on the call i.d. "I have to answer," I tell him before hitting talk. "Beth?" I ask surprised that she is calling me after the way she left earlier.
"Zac," Bethany's voice comes into my ear and I hate the way it sounds like she has been crying. "I..I'm at the hospital," she speaks and I feel my heart hammer in my chest scared that something has happened to the baby. "I was spotting and so scared that I was miscarrying. I had Leigh bring me here, they ran some tests and now I am waiting. I..I want you here."
"I'll be there in a few minutes," I tell her before hanging up and putting my phone in my pocket. "I have to go," I sigh knowing that he was about to tell me something about Natalie. "You can tell me about Natalie later," I smile before turning to leave the bathroom and running out of the office as fast as I can. Making it to my truck I get in startinf it and driving to the hospital. I am scared to keep Bethany waiting.
When I make it to the hospital I park my truck, getting out in a hurry and heading inside where I spot Leigh by the doors. Bethany probably sent her down here to look for me.
"Took your ass long enough," Leigh snaps as she walks to me. It's funny how much she reminds me of her sister right now. The rude tone and her death glare. "You know you should tell your whore to lay off my sister though if she causes my sister to miscarry I will murder that bitch."
"My whore?" I ask following behind her as she takes off down the hall. I am almost certain she is referring to Natalie though I have no clue what Natalie has done to make Leigh want to kill her, especially if Bethany miscarries.
Leigh looks up at me again her death glare having not left her face. "Short quirky brunette," she hisses out. "Looks like she couldn't hurt a fly but with her words she could murder a village."
At her description I know she is talking about Natalie, "Nat," I whisper her name almost afraid to say it out loud in front of Leigh. "What did she do?"
Leigh stops walking once she reaches a closed door, "Bethany had the bright idea to go see her after she left your apartment. Apparently they had words, words which included Natalie accusing of her lying about the baby and being a gold-digging bitch. She even said if Bethany was pregnant that she hoped Bethany would lose this baby," Leigh spat out as she rolls her eyes. "It wasn't long after she got home from her conversation with that whore that she started to spot."
I can't help but shake my head when Leigh tells me what happened. I am not shocked that Bethany went to see Natalie but I am shocked that Natalie said what she did though with the way she looked when she found out then yeah it makes sense that she'd lash out. She'd lash out and say things, things she sure as hell meant.
Not saying anything to Leigh about the subject anymore I watch as she opens the door to the room and I see Bethany sitting on a hospital bed. Going inside I faintly hear Leigh mention giving us time alone before she shuts the door.
"How are you?" I ask Bethany before sitting down in a chair opposite the bed, not sure how close she wants me to be to her.
Bethany looks at me a frown forming on her lips, "Hurting," she whispers her voice barely audible. "I'm cramping too," she confesses.
At her words I frown my mind going back to the times that Kate miscarried and the time she almost miscarried Abe. All of those times I was scared shitless and again I am scared shitless. I know I haven't been the best to her lately but that doesn't mean I want her to lose our baby.
"I'm sorry," I finally break the silence that has happeed. "I heard what happened from Leigh."
Bethany just nods, "I was crazy for going there," she frowns as a few tears go down her cheeks. "I know that but I just wanted to tell her not to try to ruin our family," she sighs. "I mean I know I threatened you but I didn't mean it. I want you in the baby's life...I want to be a family with you even if you love Natalie," she confesses before she reaches for my hand which I let her take.
"Beth," I sigh at her words after she finishes. "I...we could never be a family when I love another woman," I whisper as I think of mine and Kate's marriage. Yeah we had both cheated but it wasn't the cheating that had ended it. Hell it wasn't even the Abe lie as I think I was emotionally checked out by that point anyway. What had ended our marriage was me being in love with Natalie. Things could have been fixed Kate was willing to try it seemed but I was too into Natalie by the end.
"But you love me too," she speaks again in a whisper, "so how can things work with Natalie?"
Going silent I swallow hard finally admitting to myself she has a point. I love her too so how can things work with Natalie? How can things work with either of them? It's sad but I know I am a dick. I want Natalie when I am with her and when I am with Beth it's Beth I want even if I can't admit that out loud.
"Your silence says it all," Bethany continues, "you love me."
I nod my head finally letting her know she is right, "I love you," I whisper now feeling my cheeks get hot. I am blushing at my admission of love. "I love you and I love her," I confess wanting her to know that I love them both. "When she's around me it's her that I want one hundred percent but then when you are with me you have me second guessing everything, wanting to be with you" I sigh before squeezing her hand. "I'm so torn."
Before Bethany can reply back to me the door opens and I turn my head watching the doctor coming in. The grimm expression on their face is enough for me to know what is happening. I have seen that look each time Kate miscarried the baby. There is no more baby for Bethany and I.
"Ms. Davis," the doctor says finally looking up her expression not changing. "I'm sorry to tell you this but you have miscarried the baby," she informs Bethany and I find myself squeezing Bethany's hand when she breaks down in tears. I can feel a lump in my throat as well but I know I have to be strong for her right now just like I was for Kate each time.
I stay silent as the doctor informs Bethany that they want to keep her overnight just to keep an eye on her. In fact nothing is spoken for a long time after the doctor leaves the room as well. Bethany just sits in the bed crying and I hate seeing her like this. I hate knowing that she is going through this.
Bethany lets go of my hand after awhile, wiping at her eyes, "How can you love someone as cruel as Natalie?" she asks me her voice bitter. "She is what caused this. What caused me to lose our baby," she snaps at me and I close my eyes. "I would have stopped loving her the minute she left town two weeks ago. She knew you loved her and she left you like you meant nothing..at least I stayed in Tulsa. I stayed here for you. I may have hurt you with Taylor and also when I pushed you away when you wanted to talk but I never left you," she yells as she shakes her head. "I love you so much more than she could and you have to be so goddamn torn. The decision should be easy Zachary Hanson."
Frowning I slowly move from the chair, climbing into the bed with her, "I know it should be easy," I tell her as I pull her to me. "It should be easy," I whisper before kissing the top of her head, feeling tears on my cheeks now knowing I can't hold them back and they aren't just for the baby Bethany has lost. They are because I know the point she brought up about Natalie leaving me is a valid one and no matter how much I love her I am not sure I can get over the fact she left me and confessed her love in a fucking letter.
"I..I choose you Beth," I speak my voice cracking slightly as I do. I am not sure if choosing to be with her is the right decision but right now it feels like the easy one. The one that will cause me less drama in the end even with her crazy side.
Now that I have made my choice though I know the tough part is telling Natalie whom I feel thinks we can finally be together.
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