The weekend flies by before I know it, though like I assumed it was hell. I kept torturing myself with images of Kate and the man she was cheating with. I couldn't help but wonder if he looked like me. I couldn't help but wonder if he could please her like I did.
Hell I kept wondering this into Monday as well. Taylor was back in the studio and he and Isaac were too busy in their own little conversations to notice me drifting off and getting lost in my thoughts.
Besides thoughts of Kate, my mind also drifted to Natalie and every time they did a part of me felt guilty being in the same room as Taylor when I thought of his wife and all the things I would want to do to her when I saw her again. Yes, I was a bad brother and an equally worse husband.
I have also deduced I was a hypocrite for being mad at Kate for doing exactly what I was doing now. Though seeing as our sex stopped before I had started cheating, she has been cheating way longer than me.
"Earth to Zac," Taylor's voice breaks through my thoughts and I turn to look into his eyes. He looks so innocent but I know he hasn't been innocent for ages.
I raise an eyebrow, "Yeah?" I ask wondering why he is interrupting my own internal conflicts.
"It's time to go home," he smiles and I just nod, shutting down my computer. "I'm kind of relieved to be getting home to Natalie."
"Bad weekend with Nikki?" I ask him as I stand up once my computer has shut down. I'm really dreading going home to my own wife. I don't want to face her knowing that she is cheating on me. How do I pretend that I haven't caught her in a lie?
Taylor shrugs and runs a hand through his hair, "No, I just think Natalie is cheating on me."
At his words, I feel my heart stop and I really hope my face doesn't betray me and give me away. "Oh?" I muse willing myself not to squeak.
"She's done it before. After she found out you caught me with Carrick. She started sleeping with Muff. I caught them in our bed when I came home to surprise her. She is just, sort of acting like she did then. She is not bugging me for sex like she normally does," Taylor informs me and I feel sick at the knowledge of knowing Natalie fucked around with that fucking tattooed ginger.
"Muff?" I ask wanting to make sure I have heard my brother right.
Taylor nods and makes a disgusting face, "I don't know want she saw in him," he mutters as he leaves the office and I follow behind him. "She even said he couldn't really satisfy her."
I smirk at Taylor's last words and look away from him. I really think I am satisfying her. At least I hope I am anyway. "Why do you two even stay together?" I ponder out loud as we go outside. "I mean you have both fucked around on each other?"
"Because in some weird and sick way we still love each other," Taylor answers me. "She told me after I caught her with Muff that she loves me but she also liked being able to mess around. That if she were to do it again the guy would mean nothing to her because her heart will always be with me."
I just shrug and walk to my truck. "You guys are seriously just one messed up couple but whatever works," I mutter as I get in and slam the door. I'm not sure why his words have stung me so much but they have. "Get your shit together," I tell myself as I pull out of my parking space and head home to my wife. Now I have to pretend like things are good. That she is the saint she makes herself out to be.
Arriving home, I park my truck and get out, heading inside, "Katie?!" I call out wondering if she is home yet. I hope she is because I am sure the kids would be driving my mom crazy by now.
"In the kitchen," Kate calls out and I head into the kitchen, finding Kate standing over the stove. It looks like she is actually cooking a meal tonight and not making one of those damn frozen dinners.
"I missed you," I tell her as I walk behind her and wrap my arms around her waist, kissing her cheek softly. She vaguely smells of her flowery perfume and another smell that I feel like I should know but I can't place.
Kate just shrugs away from me, "I missed you too," she says her voice showing no emotion and I feel hurt by that. The least she could do is try showing she missed me.
Going to the table I sit down, "What's for dinner?" I ask as I raise an eyebrow and just stare at her back.
"Vegetable soup and cornbread," Kate sighs and I watch as she turns around to face me. "I know you didn't fix all the frozen dinners I left here," she spits out and I jump some, a little taken aback by how rude she is being.
I look away from her, "No, I got Taco Bueno the first night you were gone," I confess not wanting to lie to her right now. Lying wouldn't be good if she is in a pissy mood for no reason. It will just make her worse.
"You should have," she spits out again, her voice becoming almost shrill. "You know I hate the kids eating junk food and really, sometimes you should cut back on it too," she mutters as she turns away from me again.
Frowning at her words, I shake my head, "I don't think I need to cut back on anything," I raise my voice as I stand from the table. "I'm not sure what your problem is tonight Katie but I'm already sick of your shit," I tell her as I leave the kitchen and sulk into the living room.
Sitting down on the couch, I flip the TV on browsing through the channels until I find something relatively interesting that I think I might like and I sit there watching TV until Kate calls me to dinner.
During dinner Kate and I don't exchange words and I am hoping the kids don't notice. I hate when they see us argue but it seems like that is all we have ever done during our whole marriage. I'm not sure where we would be if we didn't argue, it is what makes us, us.
After dinner is over the kids leave the table, being told by Kate to go upstairs and get ready for bed. "I think I am going to go get ready for bed too," I speak to her finally before leaving the kitchen. Going upstairs, I go into our bedroom and slip out of everything but my boxer briefs before I get into bed.
Once I am in bed, I reach for the book I am reading on guns and sit there reading. I'm not exactly sure how long I read for but eventually I hear the door open and watch as Kate comes in and changes into her flannel nightgown. I'm not a fan of flannel but on her it looks hot.
"I'm sorry," I speak up once she is in the bed beside me. "I'm sorry for not fixing all the frozen dinners," I tell her as I close my book and lay it on the night stand.
Kate just turns to look at me and she sighs, "I'm sorry too," she concedes and I smile. It's rare when she apologizes to me. "I'm sorry that I said what I did about you weight and being mad," she nods as she leans in and pecks me lips. "It's just, well, my mom made me upset while I was away."
I just nod my head at her words. I know it's a lie or maybe it's a part lie. Maybe her lover made her mad. I'm not going to call her on this though, It's not my place too. "Your mom is just a witch," I joke as I lean in and peck her lips. "You always say that anyway when she makes you really mad."
Kate laughs at my words, "Because it's true," she says as she kisses me back again, this time longer than a peck. Maybe just maybe she will allow me to have sex with her again. Yeah, I may be with Natalie but god, I miss my wife's touch.
Kissing her more, I turn over some, moving over her. My kisses becoming more hard and raw.
When I hear her moan I take that as an initiative to go further and I let my hand find it's way to her waist, my nails digging into the flannel of her night gown, my hips crushing into hers so she can feel how much I want her, because god do I want her right now.
Letting my lips trail down her neck, I smirk as she tilts her head, allowing me better access to her skin there. Kissing her rougher, I let my hands trail down to the end of her night gown pushing it up some, my hand soon sneaking under the hem to brush across her panties.
Again I am rewarded with a moan and maybe I am getting my hopes up too much but she hasn't stopped me yet. As I pull away to lift her night gown off is when I see her face changes and I know I have over stepped things. My wife is about to turn me away again.
"Zac," she mutters out as she reaches down to fix her night gown. "Not tonight," she says as she shakes her head and pushes me off her. "My trip has me tired," she mutters as she turns away from me and I hear her fake a yawn.
Sighing, I slip out of the bed, "Fine," I growl out as I walk into the bathroom that is adjoined to our bedroom. Slamming the door shut I soon slid my boxer briefs down and get to work taking care of my problems. As I close my eyes, I picture Natalie on her knees, giving me a blow job as I pull on her hair hard and rough. God I need her here now more than my wife. At least she wouldn't tell me no.